I Can’t Top This

Sometimes, writing fiction is a real challenge:

A pregnant mother and her 17-year-old boyfriend, arrested along with three juveniles accused in a series of car break-ins in Cobb County on Wednesday, are now facing other charges for allegedly ambushing a man who they lured to a vacant house using a dating app, Channel 2 Action News reported.

Stephanie Hogan, 26, and Dontavious Harris, both of Marietta, are charged with armed robbery, aggravated assault and other charges in connection with a Oct. 14 incident in which a man was shot multiple times on Lakemont Drive in Marietta, Cobb County police spokeswoman Officer Alicia Chilton said.

The man, who was not identified, thought he was meeting a woman who he’d connected with via Tinder, but instead was attacked by three men, Channel 2 said, adding that the activity is considered gang-related.

So succinct. So lurid. So irresistable. The three juveniles whose arrest led to these were apparently taking a child in a car seat around with them while breaking into cars.

But I mustn’t be disrespectful because good comedy punches up, not down. Cobb County, whose seat is Marietta, was for many decades the white flight Conservatopia certain segments of our mass media are focused on. As the overall population expanded, Cobb got more crowded and diverse, and eventually crime came even to Marietta. Now another ring of white flight is moving out from Cobb.

So the story needs to be from the perspective of a middle-aged, affluent white longtime Cobb resident. He in some way witnesses some of what happens, but because he is a dickhead racist, he draws a conclusion based on stereotypes, and it’s the wrong conclusion. Only once Diana and Mustapha get him to tell the story behind his judgment, they sort out what really happened.

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