This just has short story written all over it:
Authorities on Sunday were still investigating the death of a man found dead Saturday in a burning wheelchair in southwest Atlanta.
The man’s identity remains a mystery, and investigators are not disclosing details about the cause of the fire and whether it was suspicious until they can identify him, according to the Fulton County Medical Examiner’s Office.
The unidentified man was found in a ditch in a wooded area between a fastfood restaurant and a Family Dollar store on Metropolitan Avenue. The incident was called in just after 5 p.m., and firefighters at a nearby Kroger grocery store responded within 2 minutes.
The location is one of Atlanta’s worst ghettos, the sort of place where absolutely anything baffling and idiotic could happen.
First question: was the guy actually wheelchair-bound before he died? In my story, of course, the answer is a resounding “no”. The question then becomes where’s the person the chair really belongs to. This is of course the key point of entry for the detectives. What happened to the chair’s original occupant, and where are they now, and how did this guy get there? Then there’s the question of just how the guy got set on fire:
Johnson said there was no smell of any chemical that might have started the fire. He also would not speculate whether the wheelchair itself could have been the cause.
Clearly, there needs to be a hint of spontaneous human combustion–and a Spinal Tap reference. But the best part of the article is this:
“We don’t have any information thus far to indicate suspicious circumstances,” he said. The scene, however, was being processed to preserve evidence just in case a different determination is made.
Right: nothing suspicious about a burning dead guy in a wheelchair. Move right along, people. Cop language: it never gets old.